I’m One Fucking Idiot Away From Ripping Someone’s Face Off And Wiping My Ass With It Shirt

 Elves are I’m One Fucking Idiot Away From Ripping Someone’s Face Off And Wiping My Ass With It Shirt riddled with diseases, most unknown to humanity. His immune system's just fine. And a mostly snow- and ice-based diet rivals the Mediterranean in health benefits. He only has the cookies and milk one night a year. Not to mention, he goes into peoples houses while they’re sleeping. Presumably that means doesn’t get very close to people in the process. Solid social distancing work by Santa. I always liked stories where Santa is still the same jolly old elf we know and love... and is a total badass at the same time. Dude brings a lump of coal to Darkseid every year, and never gets hurt one bit for it. The Marvel comics Santa is the most powerful mutant in existence and many things else.

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